Drink the Damn Chai

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I am not the biggest fan of the “loud” ostentatious culture of Punjabis here in Delhi (my family included). We are indeed boisterous (very), flashy (sparkly/blingy) and over the top friendly. But when we offer you that beverage for the 20^th time, we really really want you to drink it. And we mean it.

Punjabi culture is showcased often in Hindi movies, and perhaps that is how the rest of India sees us – tandori chicken eating, whiskey drinking, dancing brutes.

Most of it may be true for many of us, there are exceptions too. For instance, I know many families who prefer seekh kebabs over tandoori chicken.

Anyway, the point is that – we may like our loud Djs in shadis, dancing uncles and our “shoo-shaan”  (shosha) but we mean well. 

I mean most of us** Punjabis were refugees less than 65 years ago. We came here with just the clothes on our backs and if we were lucky, our family members. We build our lives from the camps in refugee settlements. We had to prove ourselves in a new land, a land far away from our home in Multan or DI Khan or Rawalpindi. We had to compete with each other for the packs of “rotis” given to refugees, which were limited in supply. We had to fight to get an allotment of homes in the first refugee colony in Delhi. This made us feisty, no doubt, but it made us adventurous too. It made us strong and resilient.

When we gush over you and ask about your well-being we aren’t being fake. No one asked us these questions when we had nowhere to go. So just tell us that you’re doing ok, and don’t berate us for being loud.

And when we offer that chai to you again and again, take it. We aren’t showing off our tea making abilities. Back in the day, we didn’t have any chai, and maybe we just want you to share our happiness.           

** us/our grandparents/ancestors

Radiance of our being

 With Aam Admi Party (AAP) and Somnath Bharti thronging the airtime on major news channels, somewhere in the background the issue of race was touched upon. There was much furore caused by the alleged presumption on part of Mr.Bharti when he was allegedly acting on complaints by residents of Khirki village against certain Uganda nationals. What transpires on these allegations in the end, is not the point of this piece of work. Many articles have since then come up about the racism prevalent in India (you can read one here) and while it does ring a bell, and makes me nod my head acknowledging that there is xenophobia that pervades our nation, it also gets me thinking.

I think xenophobia is a very real problem in India, but I think discussing this is essentially premature­ – us getting too far ahead of ourselves. Perhaps it is important to address a topic closer to home –the discrimination prevalent and entrenched in our society itself.

Indians love fair skin. It’s not completely random though. The ancient Indians were Dravidians who were much darker skinned then what we see today. Of course the fairer-skinned Aryans coming in from north-west and pushing the Dravidians south ensured that North India was predominantly lighter skinned than South.

As the caste system began to spread it tentacles in ancient India, darker skinned became associated with menial, hard labour – ergo the lower class, and a lighter complexion was often symbolic of higher castes.  The Britishers followed, the ruling elite, the fairest of them all. Their power, position and appearance became something to be aspired for. Given this historical and sociological perspective, it is understandable (though not acceptable to say the least) that Indians are obsessed with fair skin (for the most part).

Fair and Lovely cream, manufactured by Unilever is the most popular cream in India for skin lightening (I can’t vouch for its effectiveness of account of never having used it). So popular it is that now there is a Fair and Handsome cream manufactured by Emami and endorsed by a top Bollywood actor –targeted for men! Corporates behind these brands often argue that if one uses makeup to feel and look good, then looking fair is a choice too, and something that people should not be denied. While I have to give them credit for this ingenious rationale, I must say I am not buying it (the argument or the cream). 

Source:   Data for native populations collected by R. Biasutti prior to 1940.

One would think that a country with such shades of skin from white-peaches complexion of the people from Kashmir and Himachal, to the wheatish color of the dwellers of the northern-plains, and the dark and caramel complexion of the people from south, and many many shades in between, we would be more tolerant and accepting of this myriad of shades, but instead, capitalist propaganda feeds of our insecurities and archaic social traditions to forward their own interests. Yet, it’s not all a commercial argument at the end. Men and women seeking out matches on portals for marriages want someone who earns well, is understanding and sweet, and oh of course, Fair! And may shame fall upon the family that gets a dark daughter in-law! Tch tch! 

In the light of all these biases, it’s no wonder that we are xenophobic. And mind you this is a shade-y xenophobia. Indians will embrace all things white (Americans, Russians, British, etc,), take photos with them outside Taj Mahal. But the darker of the lot? No sir, we don’t like foreigners.

But why should we? When we can’t tolerate our Indian neighbors who speak another language and look a little different. Is this xenophobia or just ignorance? Are we confusing darkness of the skin for darkness of the soul?

“Gori hai kya”(Is she fair?), “Kaali syah jaisi hai”(she is dark like ink)

With thoughts like these bouncing of the mouths and walls of homes, how can you expect a young girl to grow up to be a self respecting woman or your son to respect and appreciate different shades? Maybe before we ask companies to stop selling these skin-lightening creams, we should look into our own homes, and tell our children and mothers that color is a color, and just that.  Indeed, beauty does not know color. I think amidst all this talk, we often lose sight of what is important­– the radiance of our being and not of our skin.     

PS: I have to acknowledge the work of "Dark is Beautiful Campaign" (you can read about them here)

     

            

10 Endearing Things about my India

1. Bhelpuri, Pani Puri and Aloo chat is a valid form of dinner.

                                                                                       Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/74852128@N00/3107779760/

2. Wearing a dupatta and bindi with jeans and a tee shirt is the coolest Indo-western attire.

    

                                           

                                                Source: http://www.glamcheck.com/bollywood/2013/01/03/bindi-styles-indian-women/

3. How people become your best friend within an hour of meeting them

                                                            Source:http://arunoday.blogspot.hk/2010/05/free-hugs-and-maa.html

4. How giving a missed call is an acceptable form of communication                         
                           

                                                              Source: quora.com

5. All men driving buses, autorickshaws, serving chai and other sundries automatically become bhaiya – brother.

6. Bollywood and cricket unifies the nation more than any other thing known to Indians

                                           

                                            Source: http://cricketmademecrazy.blogspot.hk/2012/07/interesting-facts-about-sachin-tendulkar.html 

7. Nothing happens without a song and dance. Nothing.

                                   

                                      Source: http://chandrakantha.com/articles/indian_music/nritya/bollywood.html

8. Gujjiya on Holi, Halwa on Ashtami, All forms of Mithai (sweets) on Diwali. 

 

Source: http://shailbalasingh.blogspot.hk/2008/09/gujjiyas-kajuriya.html

http://whatscookingmom.in/gajar-ka-halwa/

http://zeenews.india.com/entertainment/gourmet/recipe/recipe-kaju-ki-burfi_1094.htm

9. How a mosque, temple, gurudwara and church can all be found within a one kilometer radius.

10. An evening ripe with the smell of the tandoor in the distance, a nip in the air,and ghazals by Ghalib playing  in the background.

                                                                           ****