A Short Tale of Tresses

Naked.

That’s how I feel without my hair. No, it’s not all gone, but most of it is. I now have what people In India call a “boy cut”, people in the west “a pixie”, and what some right-wing individuals in the subcontinent refer to as “JNU-Feminist-Lesbian” type haircut. No, I am not making this up.

In an age where freedom of choice is so ubiquitous (for the most part), its surprising that chopping off one’s hair – only for females though – is synonymous with a statement – either a feminist, lesbian, or a power statement. 

I have been so used to hiding behind my full hair, using it to hide a spot or a blemish, or just myself, tucking myself under it, for comfort, when the world gets rough or too much to handle. Not having this cover, this curtain of sorts, takes getting used to.

My fat cheeks have nowhere to go but face the world head on, my freckled nose, or my unkempt eyebrows, have no recourse.  They have to be there, all the time.  Then there’s my ears, which have lost their sheath of sorts, and stand at guard now, without the layer of hair.

I can’t hide my face when it confronts me in the mirror anymore. This is the reality, high time I lost the facade.

Minority Report

Painting by Kalyani Vani

According to the 2011 Indian census there are 623 million males and 586 million females in India. That offers a very messed up sex ratio of 940 females to 1000 males. As the story goes, the reason for this is mainly female feticide and infanticide. It’s sad that a girl starts experiencing discrimination before her birth in India. Yes, there are some other countries where is there is a pronounced preference for male child (mainly in Asia) but this account is focused on India in particular.
There are a large facets of life where women
in India face obstacles, the explicit instances being of course feticide, rape, bride burning, acid attacks, sexual harassment on the street – known as eve teasing or molestation, and dowry to name a few. However there are certain forms of conditioning that make women susceptible as well. Worse yet, many women themselves perpetuate such conditioning. The expectation that women should dress in a certain way to not attract attention from men, to keep the mens “libido” in check, since the onus of that lies on the woman doesn’t it? (Sarcasm alert!). To make sure she is obedient, servile to her parents and later to her husband – women who speak up are often dubbed as “out of control”, or “fast”. A married woman is expected to cook and clean, fast for the longevity of her husband, adopt her in-laws as her own parents, whilst not expecting her husband to do any of the above. If a woman is more educated than her husband she is constantly expected to manage his ego and expectations with tact. Having said all of this, women should be “cool” and “easy going” as well.. A woman who likes to have “fun” but also respect Indian traditions and religious mores. A woman who can get drunk in a bar but then be praying at the temple the next day as well. And if she is only at one end of the said spectrum? No that won’t fly. A woman who only likes drinking – nope she isn’t “homely” enough and a woman who only wants to visit temples? Nope, she isn’t fun enough. And needless to say, women try and fill up this expectation to the best of their ability without stopping to think about their individual wants and needs. I am not admonishing those who wish to do either, or both, only highlighting that perhaps thinking about what we want rather than doing what is expected and building our self-perception based on that should be avoided. First think then act, rather than the other way around.


We hear about the rights of the minorities, we debate about having an inclusive social policy, and a government that supports holistic development, not favouring any religious groups. While the number of men and women in India is different by 35 million (men in excess of women, 2011 Census), definitely considering the limited freedom and human rights enjoyed by women, they should be considered a minority group. Let us use a simple example to prove this. The various social ills that exist in the society that work to making the overall position of women in the society worse are roughly as follows:


Female Feticide
Eve teasing
Bride Burning
Dowry
Rape
Glass Ceiling
Unequal Pay for Equal Work
Conditioning/Social Expectation



This list is in no way exhaustive and can be expanded easily. However for the sake of argument, I will assume these 7 issues deprive women of freedom, human rights and reduce their overall social, political and economic well-being in the society. If I assume that each of these 7 issues reduces the equality of women to men in the society by 5% each:

So we have

7 x 5 % = 0.35;

If the number of women is X then (X – 0.35 X) would give us the net equivalent number of women factoring in the rights and freedom available.

So we have;

The number of actual women in India = 586 mn – 586 mn x 0.35 = 331 mn.


These assumptions and calculations basically are a simplified way of demonstrating that the social norms in a society can reduce the women population to half – for example, if there is no safety for women or rampant sexual harassment you will see less women in workforce which will translate to fewer women in social, economic and political domains. The idea is not to say that a woman is reduced in half, but rather her voice is curtailed due to the lack representation in various spheres, subjugation, conditioning and other patriarchal motives.

While the world average pay gap is 24% and Indian figure is similar (The Progress of the World’s Women 2015-2016 report, and http://www.movehub.com/blog/global-gender-pay-gap-map), what is important is the narrative that prevents women from joining the work force ( 27% workforce pariticpation in 2012, UN gender Statistics and http://qz.com/238484/indias-record-in-womens-participation-in-the-workforce-is-depressing/)

To begin with, girls are always indoctrinated in being able to do housework, be nurturing, and are socialised into adopting the role of a caregiver and nurturer by virtue of being married eventually. Yes, studies and professional education is encouraged, but it is usually done to substantiate the womans credentials for attracting a potentially well-educated and economically endowed groom, or not at all (whereby you see family's dwindling interest in their daughters career paths). It is expected and acceptable for women to sacrifice her job, and pay, if the need may arise, to relocate near her husband. Now someon emay add that if she were to do this willingly, making a choice, and not out of coercion, can we still make the same argument? Yes, we can. The process of conditioning works like magic here. How is one to know what is right/wrong if the lens used to evaluate that right/wrong is broken? Another way to put it, if you are not endowed with skills to evaluate a certain issue because said issue is always a given – a constant, how would you know what is the converse of the issue at hand? If all I see when growing up are women cooking, cleaning, quitting their jobs to stay at home, being subservient, how am I to have any other metric for evaluating or doing otherwise even?

Let me perhaps conclude, if it is possible to bring such a discussion to a conclusion or a fruition – by saying that it is time for women to speak up. It has been too long that the identity of a woman, and her narratives as an individual have been secondary,secondary to her role as a daughter, wife, mother. But it time now for women to first understand and accept themselves as more than just people fulfilling a socially constructed concept (that of gender norms and expectations). .

It is time for the voices of women to be heard, for a new discourse laden with inquisitiveness and independence, and not just with words that have been heard before.

The Word Everyone is Afraid Of.

Feminist. Yes I said it. We live in an era where referring to yourself, as a Feminist is no longer fashionable or even worthy of admiration.

In fact it’s quite passé or so I have inferred. When people think of a feminist, they picture a woman with a crew cut, in kitsch clothes, thick glasses, and a gay partner in tow. Now, I don’t think there has been any causal link established on this front, yet this stereotype precedes any effort or work that a said feminist may do. Now, I may myself have a short crop and thick glasses, but believe me when I say, the way I look doesn’t influence my ideology or the other way around. It doesn’t matter to me, and it shouldn’t matter to you.

But anyway, enough about aesthetics and appearances.

Feminism is not about establishing supremacy, it isn’t about proving anything. It is a belief that women ought to be respected, be treated at par with men, and be subjected to the same economic, societal, and professional norms and expectations that are applicable to men.  It seems like an obvious stand doesn’t it? But it doesn’t come naturally in India, for reasons entrenched in it’s society and it’s bastions of patriarchy.

The gender imbalance is everywhere – from a sex ratio of 917 girls to 1000 boys (2011 census) to every time a mother buys dowry for her daughters wedding. From the 500,000 girls being lost annually through sex-selective abortions (Lancet Journal) to qualified women quitting their jobs to marry and living in bitter resentment.

India is at the threshold of modernity and tradition. As these worlds collide, Indias world crumbles, its women struggle to maintain their identity - that of strong, professional, independent women, with the traditional garb of expectations wrapped around them. A woman in India knows this well, this veil of fear, of looking over her shoulder. Some of it is real, some is paranoia. How can it not be? When all the news channels are running amok talking about rape cases by the dozen everyday. At this time, we need to brace ourselves; we need feminist ideals and feminists. We need to talk about standing up for ourselves and rejoicing in our strength, our ability to outshine boys in high school exams (Indian Express: CBSE Class XII board exam results out, girls again outshine boys) and essentially realize our-self worth.

I think the atmosphere in the country is ripe for this collective feminine conscience to come together. We need to pledge to stand up for ourselves, our wants and desires, our education, nobody else will come fight this battle for us. We need to pledge to stand up for one another, to not let an innocent woman be undermined, her identity stripped, and molded into a life of fulfilling others dreams. We need to stand up against the insane behavior of cretins against women, and put them to shame. We are 50% of the population after all. If we are together, and fortify each other, no amount of misguided social lubricant can make us slip.
Let us finally, stop hiding behind the veil of fear.