The Debt

Religion and rituals are often synonymous with each other. Nowhere is that more true than in India. However, as time goes by many rituals associated with religion lose their meaning. Not theoretically, only that people don’t know why they do what they do. They end up blindly following priests as they dictate what needs to be done. I wonder why I never questioned anyone before, and what made me do that today. As we sat down for the prayer, and priest commenced by tying a red thread around our wrists as is customary, I asked my grandmother the significance of the same. She didn’t know the answer but urged me to ask the priest. I turned to the priest, and hesitantly asked him the same question. The priest told me that the Indian caste system required each “Hindu” –Brahmin (priests), Kshatriya (warriors) andVaishyas (merchants) but not Shudras  (the untouchables) to wear three threads – Janeuon their body to remind them of the debt they owe to the Rishis – the knowledge creators, the Gurus- the teachers and their parents. I was surprised to know that all castes were required to wear the thread, particularly since I thought only the Brahmins were supposed to adorn themselves with the thread. The priest continued to explain that when the Mughal emperors came to India, they were intent on exterminating the Hindus, consequently, they would look for people wearing the thread – the symbol of a devout Hindu and cut their heads off. As a resultHindus in North India, where the terror was profound, stopped wearing this holy thread. However, whenever they would sit for a prayer ceremony they would tie three threads around their wrists to remind them of the “Debt”.

Listening to the story, I felt a new found sense of faith in my religion, for all my skepticism about meaningless rituals, I had found one which made so much sense – eternal gratitude for knowledge, teachers and the people that gave you life. I am not sure if this is true or not, but this belief makes me feel positive and so I will stick to this world-view.

Disclaimer: I do not vouch for the accuracy of this rendition, as apparently the internet has several other explanations for what this thread might represent.

10 Years Past. 10 Years Hence.

What is the appropriate amount of time, after which you are allowed to pause, look back on your life, and assess your life? We don’t have a “Satisfaction with Life Scale” * being administered to us every week you see, so must of us remain clueless until we choose to go back in time mentally to one day in the past and compare our situation then and now. Of course some people might do this by comparing lives with others and go down the rabbit hole of Social Comparison, but those of us who compare between ourselves across two points in time, it’s important to make the journey into our past.

10 years ago, fresh out of school, as I stood on the threshold of an adult life and an embittered relationship, I had felt wise beyond my years. The world was my oyster and the possibilities “out there” thrilled me. I could do anything, be anyone, go anywhere.

I wouldn’t have been a true teenager if monsters of conformity and social pressures hadn’t haunted me. Battling them of course, is no easy task as many would tell you. Amidst this, as my family decided to relocate to Guangzhou from Delhi, and China become may second home. I also developed two identities akin to this twin-home dilemma.  One part of me wanted to belong- be a part of a group- where as another craved independence, wanderlust fairy dust and carefree abandon. Being from a collectivist culture that dominates India’s social fabric, the latter ostensibly misplaced desire for independence and going solo, can get you many critics, yourself included. But one knows, that when your heart desires what the others’ don’t approve of, remaining true to yourself, maintaining integrity can be the hardest task of all. Right up there with eating a skinned lizard, alive. Whole.

Ofcourse it helped my case that I had people all around me, proving how following their dreams and letting of the collective well can be liberating, literally and figuratively. As my parents set up their new home in China, it became an annual summer retreat to visit the historic city of Canton, and be reminded, that having your paradigms challenged constantly, makes you even more resolute. “You’re Indian but you live in China?” being one example of such endeavors by others to whom the inconsistencies seemed baffling. Why would anyone leave India to stay in a country where they eat locusts and speak a language that is such degrees of difficult that mastering it may require a whole new life for a non-native speaker. But to me, these were glaring examples of how one must do what he deems fit, to pursue his/her dream, even when it doesn’t make any sense to others. As long as it makes sense to you , it’s your dream after all.

Convincing people about your dream, may be another futile endeavor, which I learnt the hard way. Endorsements are nice, but if they have to be explained to be earned, then perhaps you need to steer clear of such people in the first place.

Perhaps, as I sit here looking to the eastward sky alive with the symphony of colors all pink and purple and orange and yellow, I am reminded of how the last 10 years have been full of adventures, and challenged paradigms. Now that I will no longer get to visit my summer home, it makes me feel a tad nostalgic, but also fills my heart up for that 18 year old fledgling, who knew nothing, but decided to embark on a journey that continues since the last 10 years.

I can’t wait for the next 10.

* Satisfaction with Life Scale developed by Diener et al, 1985.