1. Requesting the ground staff to give you a 'nice' seat, attempting to explain the word 'nice' by contrasting it with the few lecherous inhabitants of my city,particularly like the one in front of me in the check in queue, only turning up in the aircraft to find out that you are sitting next to the very definition of 'not-nice' spilling onto the next seat, but who turns out to be quite harmless in the end.
2. Wearing slim fit jeans so that someone who can ordinarily sit quite comfortably in the most uncomfortable seat in the history of all uncomfortable seats EVER, has to squirm and fidget every five nano seconds.
3. Traveling without a perfume strung below your nose to ward away drafts of fart smell from a co-passenger.
4. Looking forward to an airplane meal only to discover that the meal was just a good looking substance perhaps a hybrid of stones and sawdust.
5. Stuffing twenty books in your backpack to make your suitcase lighter only to realize the precious worth of your fragile vertebrate.
6. Not wearing socks and having your feet break off from your body once frozen, when the aircraft crew thought it would be prudent to simulate arctic temperatures.
7. Waiting out the queues while boarding and feeling witty only to realize that the overhead compartments are all full leaving you looking perplexed and burdened.
8. Writing THIS when the plane is about to land and being told to bugger off with the diary and pen however only a tad more politely.( They can't expect me to jump off now, lets get real)
9. Using the washroom right after someone has spent an enlightening hour clearing their bowel.
10. Spending the entire five hours of the flight whiling away precious night hours with silly activities like day dreaming.
