I don’t care much about these Hallmark holidays, but
considering International Women’s day is touted as something much more than
that, I was willing to give it another chance. Until I got an email from Jet
Airways, Body Shop, Aldo and every other brand asking me to spend my money on
things, aka shopping. So, true, brands need consumers to buy them, but sending
emails on the pretext of a women’s day – a day to ostensibly celebrate
achievements of women, and
bombarding me with discounts that could be sent on any other arbitrary day too,
had me a bit irked to say the least.
I saw countless pictures and posts on Facebook and Twitter
extolling the self-sacrificing, brave spirit of women. Maybe there is something
to it, these days, when we post random quotes and pictures, and thank the women
in our life, and then conveniently forget all that transpires the rest of the
year.
In order to celebrate all that a woman has done, she needs
to be accepted and acknowledged in the mainstream society. She needs to be
understood and accepted with the same mores that apply to men.
Here are instances when our society has failed on that
front:
1. A little girl goes to play football with the boys in the
neighborhood since she doesn’t want to sit inside and play with dolls- and she
gets teased and made fun of by the boys.
2. A girl decides to not marry and is judged either to be promiscuous
or a spinster (depending on how she is perceived by the society)
3. A woman decides to be assertive in office and is
henceforth known as “Bossy”
4. A woman decides to pursue her career instead of her
husband, and is constantly made to feel guilty by all around her.
5. A woman gets called selfish if she decides not to have
children.
6. A woman must earn less than her male partner or be less
qualified than him – is the “conventional” wisdom. If not, his ego may not be
able to handle it. This will not translate into marital bliss. Is what is
prescribed in our society.
7. Assumptions that all women like babies, kittens, clothes,
gossip, spas and such.
I feel many of these instances I described are stifling for
men as well. What if a guy wants a kid, what label does he earn? What if he
likes spas? By apportioning one end of the spectrum for a certain gender, we
preclude the other gender from those engaging in those behaviors or activities
without attracting a raised eyebrow. That is unfair.
Can’t we envision a genderless world, where blue and pink
are just colors and not identifiers for a baby boy or baby girl.
Where girls playing football, and boys playing with castles
and dolls is not only accepted but encouraged? I think until we achieve that
ideal, I am not celebrating any International Women’s day (or Men’s day for
that matter).
