Notes on Mortality

Commercial Pursuits seem to be in vain really. Mortality being imminent, why on earth do we need to go on and engage in these apparently officious and ostentatious activities that seem to do no-one any good really. Of course, I’m saying assuming everyone engages in commercial pursuits that have the sole objective of enhancing and aiding their hedonistic desires.
Do we need to live life in such a way that we make lives of other people better? Other people who are significantly worse off than we are, and there are a lot of those in this world. Or do we just go about our own lives, trying to achieve the best for us, monetarily, socially, emotionally, spiritually? Of course, if we are to become apostles of the school of thought that says “yes” to question number two, then the normal construct of the society and commerce is adhered to. However when I am inclined to swing to question number one, I feel, that if everyone had the same thought, there would be a total breakdown of the system and of course, that would be really really bad. So I guess, being pragmatic is not ideal if I want to live in the affirmative with respect to question number one.
Having rambled on so far, the lessons to be learnt from the imminent mortality briefly mentioned above, should certainly be highlighted now. The years given to us are finite, but rather than count the number of moments that life gives to us, we need to look at the number of moments we give life to. Hell, do what we must-commerce, charity, travel, …name it. But do it right.
This was so not what I intended to get to when I started writing, but writing is like traveling into the unknown. You know where you start, but you never known where you end. -Amen

The Economics of Being "Nice"

If utopia were something that existed, it would probably be a situation where blogs with titles like these ceased to exist, for people wouldn’t really want an answer to this question. That, however, would not bode too well for me, because then either no one would read this (assuming some readership now) for my writing would be regarded hyperbole and ergo not warrant any flicker of interest. On second thought, utopia would probably deter me from harbouring such ideas in the first place, so the very reason this (this being the words that I am writing now) exists, is the inherent absence of utopia.
At several points in my life I have succumbed to decadent thoughts, those which propel me to wonder-“ Is being ‘nice’ the right strategy?”. I use the word strategy here because I am a fledgling in the world of game theory and having been recently enamoured by Nash Equilibrium, and seduced by the world of strategies and concepts of the like, I feel this propelling urge to appease my narcissistic side. Having managed to successfully drift away from the topic I promised to dive into at the very inception of this endeavour, I think any further procrastination albeit comic relief attempts might warrant a change in the title.
Let us assume that being “nice” or “not nice” are the two strategies that two individuals have.
Let the names of these individuals/players be “ Phelangie” and “Phoebe”

Whereby in (x,y) we have payoffs of Phleangie (x) and Phoebe (y).The payoffs are written so assuming that when a player plays a nice strategy and in turn gets a not nice strategy he gives all the benefit to the player receiving the “nice” behaviour award. Also, when both players choose “not nice” strategies, then the payoff is in negative as the society as a whole also suffers from the absence of “nice” behaviour.
Assuming this is a one shot game and both the players act simultaneously, we can elaborate as follows:
If Phoebe plays nice, Phelangie would chose strategy not nice so as to get a payoff of 20.
If Phoebe plays not nice, Phelangie would play strategy nice to get a pay off of 0.
If Phelangie plays Nice, Phoebe would play strategy Not Nice to get a pay off of 20.
If Phelangie plays Not Nice, Phoebe would play a strategy of nice get a payoff of 0.
We get 2 Nash Equilbriums stating that Phelangie and Phoebe would play the following Strategies:
Phoebe-Nice, Phelangie-Not Nice (20,0)
Phoebe-Not Nice, Phelangie-Nice (0,20)
So economics clearly states that there is NO rationale for people to be nice to each other simultaneously.
Maybe this is what explains when on any given day, a stranger smiles at you, the lady in the bus gives you her seat, your friends bring over flowers when you are feeling unwell, and someone says something nice to you while you have nothing to offer except a frown.
Converse: Stop wondering why others aren’t exhibiting the “nice” behaviour you dish out their way. :P

PS: I am new to this. Corrections are welcome. However, I must warn you, a correction may prompt me to ask you for help with economics homework.

Life in Fast Forward-I

Absence of words in my life make me feel defunct and non-existent, but it’s written words I am talking about and not spoken ones. There is no dearth of conversations out here. The conversations in my head however seem to have been given a horse tranquilizer, after which they were last spotted with a backpack on the periphery of my head, waving goodbyes without much promise of a prompt return. Now that scares me-horse tranquilizer and travel plans don’t seem to be congruous, but then again when did you ever hear about personified thoughts doing inane things?
While I construct these inane sentences, I realize that the past month has been a blur of activity. Perhaps since the day I left New Delhi, I haven’t really had the time to sit down and just be by myself without some task at hand or some conversation to indulge in. As the clouds of the inertia start to dissipate, I realize that the travel to Spain was indeed quite flawless and brought with it some people that I will probably not be able to forget so easily. Not that they were grandiose in their gestures or anything out of the ordinary, but just that they were there at the right time..kind of wizarding* my journey into one that can not be forgotten so easily. I guess I owe a thank you to: the lady at the check in counter, at IGI Airport, New Delhi the genteel male steward aboard the BA flight to London, the gentleman on the seat next to mine, Janet in the BA flight to Madrid and the taxi driver who drove me to my hotel in Madrid.
Travel is a word that engenders mixed feelings among people. By Travel here I am referring to the passage of time in moving from one airport to another. From the euphoric enthusiast to the pessimistic business travelers, the feeling varies like day and night. Airport Travel can be particularly fun, and even a way to be present intensely in the now (Reference: The Power of Now and the New Earth by Eckhart Tolle). Here are a few ideas (picked up from personal experience) to enjoy those dreaded fifteen (ten?) hours or more of travel and transit time:

1. Always be nice to the personnel checking in your luggage, immigration officers and security check officers. Smile, talk, exchange cordial words and some inane information. This makes them happy and will make you happy as well.
2. Always set aside some space in your hand bag so you can store some duty free shopping product in it. While not necessary, duty free shopping is useful in killing the long transit hours in the wee hours of the morning. Even if you buy only a bar of chocolate, the thrill of browsing the aisles in these shops is something that can make the most insipid of journeys a little interesting.
3. Perch yourself on a table in one of the many cafes at the airport with a coffee and a magazine or a book and just observe the people ambling by. It can be quite an engaging experience to try and figure out the nationalities and destinations of people from the way they are dressed.
4. Loading your mp3 player with music containing idyllic lyrics can actually soothe your nerves and perhaps transport you to your destination whilst you are waiting to board the aircraft even.
5. In long haul flights, a mix of books like an engaging paperback novel (I recommend Eat, Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert), collection of poems, and some periodicals can keep you nicely occupied, intermittently with bouts of sleep.
6. Talk. To your co-passengers in the aircraft, the man behind you in the queue, or the friendly kids on the next table. You don’t need to exchange personal information to share a few laughs and conversations and the best part is that there is a mutual understanding that the conversation would truncate at the cessation of the journey or the end of transit. Cute deal that.
7. Try and orient yourself with the airport prior to departure. On arriving at the airport you’d feel like you are trying to piece together a giant jigsaw puzzle when trying to maneuver the ways.


* Wizarding: A word coined mid-conversation by Janet Kagan and myself aboard the British Airways Flight from London to Madrid to denote an infusion of that unquantifiable extra variable into something banal and routine.
Going Further I would like to use the symbol *w to indicate the wizarding variable. This variable would have to be used with different constants depending upon its usage in different contexts. In the Luxury Hospitality Sector for instance *wH can be a measure of how well the Hotel/Resort can enhance the customers experience over and above the expected outcome.

Order/Chaos

The area outside the arrivals terminal at the IGI Airport is a traffic nightmare today with cars strewn across everywhere, and add to that the flurry of passengers who are running late, trying to dodge the cars and the trolleys, an innocent passerby would probably flip at the pandemonium that is probably breaking out before his eyes.

But then again, it’s a sordid dance of sorts, this chaos isn’t it? Order in Chaos some wise men call it, and Delhi is quintessentially that. So it is no surprise when my car manages to bumper-graze another car. It isn’t even worth a frown.

As the driver eases the humble hatchback out on to the road, we are accosted by a recalcitrant man, ordering our driver out of our vehicle. I am shaken from my reverie by the commotion and realize it would be prudent to step out for a reconnaissance. Turns out, the car whose bumper has been so grossly grazed and thus violated, is a BMW. My shiny hatchback looks green with envy inspite of its metallic tinge, but I see some shade of pride too, since it has very conveniently manage to leave it’s mark on the ever so spiffy bimmer.

I stoop low to inspect the damage and see nothing at first glance. I adjust my thick glasses and there in front of me is a scratch all of 1mm staring at me right in the face. The chauffeur of the BMW seems to be in a frenzy of sorts, reiterating the fact that the car is indeed a BMW and his company would not be pleased to know of the damage. A police patrol car pulls in, and two cops step out and continue to lurk in the background. The driver of the hatchback clearly believes in quid pro quo and is on the defensive, rebuffing all accusations being thrown his way and throwing in his own conjured accusations for good measure. I am a little melancholy from the events the day has managed to transpire, and maybe that attenuates my inclination to launch a full-blown offensive. The cops seem to have had a look at the “scratch” and I can see them muster a quite laugh from the corner of my eye-this makes me feel resplendent. I bring up the topic of chaotic Delhi roads and how a car in Delhi cannot operate on the roads until it has bumped at least one car a day-somewhat like a right of passage. Pun intended. I look at the cops, and they seem to be nodding in approval. Bless them I think.

A call to the chauffer’s superior, a quick tête-à-tête, and it seems that I’ve managed to convince him that neither his driver nor mine is to blame. “It’s the chaos sir”, I tell him. And it is.

The story ends with the chauffer thanking me with a toothy grin, me thanking the cops for their patience and laughter and all three parties returning to their vehicles with a sigh of relief, thankful for the order that was ushered in by the chaos.

My not-so-little sugar 'n spice

There is this girl I know
She was so small some years ago,
but she looks bigger than me today.
There is this girl I know…
who makes everyone smile
wherever she goes
she has angels by her side
There is this girl I know...
who fears nothing that comes her away
except the silly mangy dog gone astray
There is this girl I know…
who has dreams in her eyes
her love and her words of compassion
humbles even the aged and wise
There is this girl I know…
who came into my life
one fine morning fifteen years ago
she’s my not-so little sugar ‘n spice!

10 Reasons why I love Delhi...

1. The brilliant night-time driving on the wide well lit roads.
2. The fact that every colony has a shop selling Kathi-rolls, kebabs and momos!
3. How all the shopkeepers from the salesman at Shoppers-Stop to the guy selling kolhapuris(A kind of Indian Slipper) at Central Market to the fruit vendor reply to the call “bhaiyya”( Elder brother).
4. The crazy bollywood masala music on radio which makes you want to dance in the middle of the road.
5. The abundance of key-makers around every corner to ensure easy access to your home/car in the event you lose your precious keys.
6. Riding in cycle rickshaws in the rain in Delhi University.
7. The fact that you can wear a hot red lipstick, flip-flops and a Hawaiian print shirt OR a saree in the middle of the day while shopping and still feel comfortable.
8. You can be half an hour late for a meeting and still be on time.
9. The realization that you can stop your car anywhere on the road anytime you feel like.
10. The long green stretch from Panchsheel Club to Chirag Delhi Flyover.

Karma Quotient

As I my mind dwells on the pages of the books I put down some minutes ago, I realize that my hands might have stopped turning its pages, but its words are still hanging like vapor on a humid day around my head.
It’s a little disconcerting when thoughts collide, not angry, brutal thoughts but just thoughts of existence, death and other things in between. So I have to take a minute here and perhaps come to an amicable solution.
Is it possible that my existing notions of karma being settled in this very lifetime are giving way to the concept of reincarnation of souls? I was always an apostle of the theory of the neutral playing field-whatever goes around comes around, and not in the next lifetime or the lifetime after that, but in this very life itself. But Hindu mythology, and others, particularly the author of the book I’m reading say otherwise. It is over a period of many lives that we settle our debts and make up for our wrongs. It takes time, and we come back again and again until that is fulfilled. So, as we all let out a collective sigh for that lie we told that morning and think it won’t come back to us just yet, I say think again.
Maybe, it is possible for both these thoughts to co-exist, I wonder. We have often heard of some past life encounters sometimes from an old friend whose neighbours aunt started calling out names of her Rajasthani grandparents in a former life, or courtesy the evenings news featuring some child in a rural village in Haryana speaking fluent French. Bhagvad Gita also validates the concept of reincarnation when Lord Krishna tells Arjuna that he would return millennium after millennium to restore order and re-establish principles.

“yada yada hi dharmasya glanir bhavati bharata
abhyutthanam adharmasyatadatmanam srjamy aham
paritranaya sadhunamvinasaya ca duskrtam
dharma-samsthapanarthayasambhavami yuge yuge”

Translation

Whenever and wherever a decline of righteousness and a predominance of unrighteousness prevails; at that time I manifest myself personally, O descendant of Bharata.

Apart from this reference there are several other references in the Gita that directly assert that the soul is eternal and it takes the human form over and over.

“acchedyo'yam adahyo'yam akledya'sosya eva ca
nityah sarva-gatah sthanur acalo'yam sanatanah”

Translation

As a person gives up old and worn out garments and accepts new apparel, similarly the embodied soul giving up old and worn out bodies verily accepts new bodies.

Source: www.bhagvad-gita.org

So, assuming that we do re-incarnate over and over until we achieve a higher learning curve, there has to be something that is applicable to this life as well. I mean c’mon I cant believe we run amock lawless in this life, thinking, hey-it’s A-OK because, I will settle it all in the next life, and even better, I won’t remember any of it! I think, there needs to be a cut off line as to what we can pass on to our next life and what we must settle here in this lifetime. Like you know, a minimum amount due kind of a feature we have in our credit card statements. Those initiated in the ways of plastic money would know what I’m talking about.

So lets say, there should be a dossier somewhere talking about various permissible wrongdoings we can set off in this life, and then those which are carried forward to next life, much like the accumulated depreciation for those familiar with the accounting world. So ideally, ideally we should try and restrict our offences to the Schedule A of the dossier (wrongdoings that can be set off in this lifetime) to ensure a comfortable life in the future. But, then again, comes the question, if we already committed say a Schedule B (wrongdoings that are carried forward to the next lifetime) offence say within the first thirty years of our existence, so one might think that since we anyway have to bear the brunt of that in the next life, we might as well go crazy committing Schedule B offences, right?

So we incorporate some clauses to make this right. For instance there could be a Clause A.1 specifying the number of Schedule B.1 (least offensive) offences that will ensure an increase in future lifetimes. Ex; If an individual indulges/commits “x” activities listed in Schedule B.1, then the number of lives he must appear in to absolve himself/herself (or to write off those activities) will be defined as LnB1= n+x/3, where “n” is the number of the lifetime in which he/she committed/indulged in that lifetime and “LnB1” is the total number of lives the individual must appear in as per lifetime “n” because of offense committed under Schedule B.1.

Therefore the increase in lives over this one by virtue of committing a Schedule B.1 offence can be written as:

LB1=LnB1-n ; where “LB1“ is the lifetime determinant by virtue of offence committed under Schedule B.1

Similarly we have;
LnB2= n+x/2; where “LnB2” is the total number of lives the individual must appear in as per lifetime “n” because of offense committed under Schedule B.2.
LB2= LnB2-n; where LB2 is the lifetime determinant by virtue of offence committed under Schedule B.2 (moderately offensive)

And;
LnB3= n+x; where “LnB3” is the total number of lives the individual must appear in as per lifetime “n” because of offense committed under Schedule B.3.
LB3= LnB3-n where LB3 is the lifetime determinant by virtue of offence committed under Schedule B.3 (most offensive)

Another clause that is of critical importance is Clause A.2. This would probably have something to with the quality of the future life as determined by the present one. So if an individual curtails his activities to Schedule A, although he will pay for his Schedule A offences in this lifetime, the quality of his future life(s) will proportionately decrease. (Like, even if you pay the minimum amount due on your credit card statement, you’re fine, but you still got to pay the interest on the remaining amount).

So we have Qn+1= Qn. (1/x); where “Qn+1” is the Quality of life in the life following the present life. “Qn” is the Quality of life in the present life and “x” is the number of Schedule A offences committed
.
KQ= {LB1(Qn+1)}+ {LB2(Qn+1)} + {LB3(Qn+1)}; where “KQ” is Karma Quotient by virtue of wrongdoings.

One might wonder, that there should be another element to the Karma Quotient. Which works on the basis of the good one might have done over the period of his/her life. We won’t dwell on that in the section because, by virtue of THAT I’m sure coming back as a rodent in the next life. I’m not ready for that realization yet. So watch this space for Karma Quotient-the sequel.
Considering the way our population is escalating, it would be difficult to work with the above algorithm and expect a fair answer to an individuals Karma quotient. There might need to be a case-by-case study, which might be beyond the comprehension of an artificial intelligence. And then again, the very comprehension of drawing up a Schedule A and B of the dossier will have the best of philosophers stupefied. After all is there a universal right and wrong? Is there a universal truth or lie?
Perhaps, that’s why we have a God.

An Ode to the Compass

The roads are many,
The right ones are few,
This night is good as any
for I have promises to renew

The distance stretches out,
The journey is sparkling new,
I will travel till the end of time,
Even if hurts to say adieu.

Lost are some on roads,
Consumed are some by pain,
Nostalgia is a feisty demon,
Farewell drives many insane

I stand on a dusty corner,
In the distance the mountains call,
I pray for a guide, a direction
Point me to my being, amidst this squall.

Flutter,Flutter.

Maybe it’s the day, and I feel the collective sense of euphoria Indians feel this day, maybe it is the Codeine Phosphate in my system sensitising me to inane stimuli, maybe it is books on past-life therapy that are making me think beyond the usual realms someone’s imagination can run to. Whichever one of these reasons are inspiring me to write this, what is really transpiring is that these kites I see flying in the sky, have me in a symbolic trance of sorts. Life isn’t much different from these paper carved creatures whizzing past each other this evening. A gust of wind lifts them high, a lull heaves them down. A slight ease in the tenacity of the string has them lunging for the earth, a firm pull has them fluttering with a cautious abandon. And then, out of nowhere, come these predatory kites, cut your string, have you plummeting to the ground. You grope around some, pick yourself up, tie another string, and wait, wait for that gust of wind.

10 Steps to International Drivers License acquisition

My love and need for bureaucratic government departments doesn’t seem to die out. It even instills in me this generosity to make available details of the application process on my blog. Now that is some love I’d say.

1.Requirements: Ability to breathe in depleted oxygen levels and a dash of resilience for the sporadic brusqueness that may come your way. Apart from these two pivotal requirements (I say pivotal because their absence can spin your head oh so round) you’d also require a pen, glue, original license, original passport, original visa , photocopies of the before mentioned three documents and 4 passport sized photographs. (it’s actually 3, but in case you find a cute guy/girl lined up behind you, you can inadvertently drop the extra photo with your number written behind it.:) In case you were thinking, if that’s how I meet men, then no you’re wrong. Transport Department has boring crowd. Try the same at the Passport office. ;)

2. Queues are a myth created by mankind but fear not -some gumption goes a long way : The enquiry counter is always the hotspot at places where a lot can go wrong( and it does go wrong). The place in question here, also had one of course with a motley crowd standing around it. My attempts to locate a queue were in vain because there did not seem to be one. So three very kind gentlemen see right through the very opaque looking me and manage to get ahead in the crowd, I realize it’s time to put the next man in place. And put him in place I did. Excerpt from the conversation:

Me: Do you mind Sir? There is a queue here. (No there wasn’t a queue, but I got there first!)
Disgruntled boy: Frowns (in reply)
(Crowd in front of me thins out, and as I head towards the counter…)
Disgruntled boy: (to man behind counter) I’m a tool. I’m a tool. I’m a tool. (Of course he didn’t say that, I don’t really remember now -*malicious grin* )
Me: Aap ko samajh nahin aaya? Queue! (Don’t you get it you doofus, there is a Queue here)
Disgruntled boy: (amidst grunts and snorts) Kya queue? (What queue?)
Me: Push-Nudge-Look defiant. REPEAT.

3. Room 217: The beautiful symphony of application for the international driving permit is conducted from this room. Kind of like the Vatican of the International License application process. Here, you must produce your passport and license, quickly grab on to a form handed out to you to fill and listen to the list of documents required to be submitted (mentioned above in the same post) in sweet rapture.

4. Medical Examination-Fear no more!: Now one of the documents that need to be provided is a medical certificate. Not having had the foresight to have thought of this prior to my decision to embark upon this joyous mission, I realized I’d have to pay a visit to the in house doctor at the transport department building who had a room juxtaposed to room 217. (No, I exaggerate, it was down the hall☺). On indicating my desire to get a medical certificate I was instructed to fill another form. The doctor then proceeded to sign the same and ten minutes and fifty bucks later I had a certificate attesting my good health and happiness.

5. Room 217: See, it all comes back to room 217. You can’t do one thing here without the approval from Room 217. So I was going to do just that.
Me: “Look at my shiny new certificate! What prize do I get for it?”.
ANSWER from Room 217: “ You get to pay the fee and get the hell outta here!”
( Note: This conversation happened ONLY in my head)

6. Paying the fee: Now there was a serpentine queue outside the room you go to deposit the fee. This freaked me out a little bit. Thoughts of self doubt starting crawling down my back, later I realized it was perspiration. A few questions later, I realized that was not the queue I was suppose to be a part of. As it turned out there was no queue for depositing the fee for the international driving permit. So that was pretty darn quick. Five hundred Rupees, does the trick.

7. Room 217: Fill up a booklet (which is going to be your LICENSE btw) and sign your name in a couple of places with a flourish, after presenting the receipt for depositing the fee. You are then told to come back in the afternoon.

8. The return: This happens in the afternoon. Did for me atleast. We are required to hover around Room 217. (Remember-the temple?). A nod beckons us inside, and we are handed the documents and booklets and instructed to go to room 211.

9. Room 211: Not as important as Room 217 as you may have figured. But this room holds the key to cementing the entire process. The holy grail of all of the twenty million signatures that are required on the booklet.

10. Room 217,Yawn: So now, you know you’re almost done. So you have a smile playing at the corners of your lips. You present the documents with an unparalleled confidence. The guy stamps it at a zillion places, and just when you think that there is no surface area left for the green stamp to leave its mark except the wood on the table, the guy looks up with triump. Woohoo! It’s done!